Friday, July 14, 2017

Fuck Gluten

I follow a "Work Hard, Play Hard" mentality.  I believe life should be enjoyed - it's too fucking short!  So, eat what you want!  Drink what you want!  Love who you want!  Go where you want!  It would be great if it were all that simple but in general, I try to follow the principles as rebelliously as I can.

So, it was devastating when I awoke in the hospital being told that I had Celiac Disease.  My very sedated, partly conscious self asked them defensively to repeat what they just said and then declared, "I can never have bread again!?!"  They shushed me and recommended I shake off the sedation before discussing more.  And, as I was wheeled into recovery, the nurse offered water and crackers.  She said to eat the crackers quickly because they'd be the last I'd ever eat.  Boo!  Hiss!  WTF!  Major buzz kill for a food lover like myself.

Well, after sleeping it off and doing some research, I realized that this was not the worst news I could ever get.  In all honesty, I've been dealt more serious blows from my Cardiologist and Neurologist. So really, I just needed to "Keep Calm and Carry On".  So, that's how I've approached it.  And, on the up side, I feel way better and am putting so much good stuff in my body.

So, understanding Celiac Disease and evil Gluten, you realize what you can't have very quickly.  And, then there's all the other stuff you can have - fresh fruits and vegetables, beans, chicken, seafood, red meat.  Potatoes, even!  I'm talking fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, french fries and potato chips.  Beer is a definite no-no but I never liked the shit anyway.  And wine is just fine.

Now, I've read all about the cross-contamination conspiracy and the advice on how to respectfully ask someone at a restaurant what their "Gluten Free" options are.  Forget it!  Can't do it, won't do it.  Being that strict on myself and others is just against my way of living.  We went out to eat this week and my husband ordered the Fried Green Tomato sandwich.  After giving him the "Go to Hell" look, I rather quickly declared that I would also have the Fried Green Tomatoes.  Just the appetizer, not the sandwich.  And those who are very strict about this Gluten Free way of life will say, the tomatoes were fried in a gluten based batter.  Well, a wildflower garden has weeds but it's still pretty.  I'm not perfect and I'm not going to try to be with this new diagnosis.  I'll just do my best and overall, I'll be happier and so will everyone else around me.

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